Saturday, February 28, 2009
I grazed my knees.
I Grazed My Knees - An Extended Analogy.You get out of the car. Maybe you fall out, step out gingerly and trip, or you get shoved out. But still, you fall and slide a few feet on your bare knees. Ouch.
First, it's the fricking pus/blood-oozing open wound. And it hurts so bad you cry.
Oww.
Then when the worst of the tears have gone, you look at it and whine away.
You know it's gna get infected, unless you wash it and clean it.
So you have a choice, whether to leave it and avoid the megapain, or get it done up, even though you know it's gna hurt like MAD.
So maybe you choose the iodine method, and it freaking stings like a bitch.
But then, it will heal well.
After that, it's the scabbing process, the crusty in-betweens of scarring.
But it's on your bloody knee. So if you move too much, the stretching of your skin'll rip the scab. Then there'll be fresh pain and a little blood. As long as you keep moving around, this'll constantly happen.
I have to learn not to move, until it heals.
I wore the dress daddy bought today. XD It's so nice and swishy. It's like grey flannel, from GIORDANO. Yes I know. O.o But it looked good. XD And Yi Xin liked it. Hahaha. Ballet was tiring, yet again. We barely finished barre work and that was all for the day. Goodness. So tiring. To think we're gna do TWO syllabuses - RAD and CSTD, and combined with piano, I don't wonder why people say I'm a "jack of all trades". Cause they leave out the last bit - "Master of none."
I may be joining the GP Night rock band thingy. Syafiq wants me to sing Decode man, I dno if I can do it. DX
Saw someone's cousin in church today, brought back memories. HAHAHA.
Tomorrow's tuition, waking up to finish my essay. Who wants to bet I'll just switch off the alarm and go back to sleep? Easy money. XD Can't stand how I'm so lazy. I realise that there's only a week and I can't cram this much for CTs in just a week. But I'm not making it any easier by always saying, I'll start tomorrow.
xoxo
Bex
This unexplainable sinking feeling in my gut I can't ignore.
Still.
Who am I kidding?
Friday, February 27, 2009
DRAMA AGAIN!
OMG. So much class drama.Hahahahahahahaha.
Dance was alright, I'm picking up! Today Mr Dan bought us ice lemon tea and raisins. XD
Tomorrow's another tiring day. But at least I have a new Giordano dress to wear. XDDD HAHAHA. Dad bought it for me, it's so cute!
What's the deal huh?
xoxo
Bex
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
So today was pretty uneventful, my hair was good. XD HAHAHA. It's nice now, I'll hate it when it grows again, like it'll always do. Cept for the actual length of it. RAWR frustrating!
Dance was stressful. DX I had to learn like 9 phrases in one session, it was SO BAD. And blur and frustrating. DDDDDDDX IT SUCKED. At least dance ends early on friday cause of J1's PTM. And next week, we're free from incarceration. XD Cause of Common Tests. Not a very encourage alternative but at least it has it's perks. Hahaha. And so hopefully on friday I can go shopping for my bag! YEY. XD The pink checkered Rip Curl bag that I can totally picture sitting next to my checkered Rip Curl slippers. XD I WANT IT I WANT IT I WANT IT. I'm not like a major Rip Curl fan, never have been, but hey, I like what I like. XD
Met Venus after dance, she passed me this cookie which she made herself and my headphones. She's so gorgeously sweet, I'm gna give her a present next time. Talk about BELATED V Day. XDDD
Tomorrow's 2.4! Think in school by 6.30. O.o Yeah, BLOWS. Gna drink some water and sleep by 11, methinks. Or I'll dai tomorrow. TAAS YA'LL! <3
xoxo
Bex
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
DRAMA.
GOSH there's been some drama of late.Essentially vulgar, of course. Such dischord!
And at the end of the day, Bex's WISDOM is consolation to many a troubled mind. XD
xoxo
Bex
Monday, February 23, 2009
Crossed In Love
Oh god, the irony.How february is the month for Valentines, but it's like the "Crossed In Love" month this year for like so many people I know. Bumfucks.
Oh random. How everyone uses "Grilled To Perfection". LJS, Burger King, MacDonalds. GAWD, LET'S HAVE SOME ORIGINALITY ALREADY!
Today something funny happened. XD I was doing my GP with Kim and I had this mind block. I wanted to find this phrase that was like inculcating in you vs originally having it, and I was STUCK. Then suddenly it dawned on me. I threw up my hands and exclaimed, rather loudly, I might add, NURTURE VS NATURE!
Oops. HAHAHA.
Bex: Ohman that was loud. An epiphany!
Kim: Of epic proportions.
Hahahahahahaha. Hey, can you blame me? I'm a walking hyperbole. XD
So last night's OGL dinner was faaaaab! I never laughed that much and that long in a really long time. XD These moments, I find, are getting fewer and far between. And that's not good. BOO. Jaymond was wearing this freaking red shirt. My insults to him ranged from "Latina ballroom dancer", "Pizza Hut staff" and even "Cowboy social escort". HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Alvin was bloody hilarious, he was the highlight of the evening, methinks. With his facial stunts and cotton candy 'tache. XDDDD PICTURES! There were incriminating videos too, but I'm not allowed to publicize it, on penalty of death. DX
What used to be Alvin's dinner.
SOON HOCK, NEVER EARLY!
ATTACK! Jing Fang, honestly!
SOME Orion OGLs 09! <3
Hilarity was a continuity last night, or I'm missing something.
OHMAN GAYLORD!
Yen Hui looks ready to ATTACK!
Hafiz is our SUGAR DADDY! XDDD
'Tache! Cotton candy, you better believe it!
Failed Hitler attempt; looks like MUCUS. GROSS.
Curly tache!
"Waste not, want not!"
Time to pay up maaaan.
It's easy to flag a waiter, wave the MUNNEH!
The fleeting illusion of wealth. XD
We had so much fun! I can't wait for March hols, maybe we'll have a sleepover! See how luh. XD And I'm going shopping immediately after the common test! I wna buy this cute bag and a new wallet. Oh, and Eat Me, Drink Me. XD Speaking of which, I better start studying! HAHAHA.
xoxo
Bex
Sunday, February 22, 2009
OGL!
GOING FOR OGL DINNER IN LIKE 15 MINUTES!More of an early dinner, actually, if you have questions pertaining to the weirdly early hour. Hahaha.
Yesterday I went to my church's Youth Meeting for like the first time in a year or something. Hahaha. Should start going more often, it wasn't half bad. XD Then went to Kings Hotel's Princess Terrace for a penang dinner! GOD I had like 3 bowls of laksa and a whole load of everything else. XD It was so scrummy. But the spread was pretty lame for a $38 per head charge. Hmm. Desert was so good though. XD
Then today during church I actually listened. XD But it's hard to, especially cause it's so repetitive and like the translation's so bad. I miss that awesome elder brother who translates so well. XD My favorite cheena speaker to date! Then went to drive all the way to Buona Vista for duck porridge, and it was CLOSED. O.O So went to tuition centre there to eat their duck porridge. Not bad, a little starchy, but I could've done without the garnishing. XD Then tuition was OMG SO DRY AND BORING I wanted to DAI. Thank goodness I'm seeing the OGLs later, it's gna be a good time! YEY. Should leave now. XD Maybe I'll take my cam. Yeah and possibly post pictures! XD TAAS YA'LL!
xoxo
Bex
Saturday, February 21, 2009
CHOCOLATE
CHOCOLATE HERE I COME!Friday, February 20, 2009
LIT NIGHT
TONIGHT'S LIT GALA NIGHT WAS FAB.Last night wasn't that bad too, but it was a lot scarier cause there were science kids, OTHERS, OG kids and OGLs etc. XD Today was more familiar. Hahahahaha, for want of a better word. Today's kids laughed at the totally appropriate bits, emo-ed and clapped at equally appropriate bits, and didn't make quite as much noise as last night, which was good and bad. XD
Everyone was top form today, and Haniel said I was at my best. XD Which is really good. YEY. I just played through guitar without thinking of the hammer so it came and went, very erratic and not cool. Hahaha eep. I'm just sick of it luh! So I'm really glad all the rehearsals are gna be over, then I have time for a life outside of school and lit night practices. But at the same time, I'm gna miss watching the same old performances again and again, funny as that sounds. Also, all the great ass people. BOO. Parting is such sweet sorrow!
Miss Chew and Mr Tsui sang today! SO SWEEEEEET. <3 It was SUCH a surprise. We kinda anticipated it, but it still squee-ed me. XDDD
Half our class, the close bunch, that is, went for supper after that. I still can't believe I was allowed. XD I better go bond with the fam soon, or they'll start on my case again. Anyways, we went to KFC with me still looking like a tramp. Hahaha. Then we talked and talked and totally had a great time. Good times, good times.
I MISS A05. I think if they do any weird ass class video shit at the end of this year, I'll cry my EYES OUT.
Anywho, I'm pooped. Gna sleep soon I guess. XD Thanks to EVERYONE who came to watch, and who's been so supportive of me and lit night as a whole! <3
PS: KIM HAS MY RING! -wails-
xoxo
Bex
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
NO TIME
WHOO. Really no time to blog the past few days, much less time to have a life; lit rehearsals are swamping my every waking moment! Well, sort of, you know how lit students tend to gravitate towards hyperbole. XD I'm freaking exhausted! I slept at like 9ish last night, for heaven's sake! GAWD. Scaryyyyyy. Hopefully I'll recover soon, it's not like the groggy cough medicine I have to take now is helping me stay awake. O.oToday was the Good News Cafe performance for lit week. It's so much easier on my nerves to play guitar than to sing. For some reason, I don't have a problem if I hit the wrong chord, cause i just don't entertain the possibility it'll happen. XD But singing's more stressful. XD
TOMORROW'S LIT NIGHT, GAWD!
And my dear 1A05 kids AND MORE will be there watching. O.o Gosh, no pressure, no pressure. There's PE tomorrow too, so I'll be bringing a whole lot of shit. Oh maaaan. Infernal mess!
Today I didn't really eat a lot. O.o Had like a breakfast and dinner. I didn't eat in school, cept for this bread thing. Funny how my appetite's so weird now. O.o The flower I got for V day from Rachel looks so wilted. HAHA. It's scary looking, it's right in front of me. Hahahaha. Got a flower for Haniel's and my performance today, I have a really bad feeling it'll wilt just like Rachel's. XDDD
So I need to at least unpack my books and tell myself I have to study before going off to bed, I'm POOPED! Thanks for everyone's support ya'll, I'll see most of you tomorrow! <3
xoxo
Bex
Saturday, February 14, 2009
V DAY
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY YA'LL!To those attached and happy, I feel your love! And to those single and thriving, I admire your independence. XD
Today started freaking early. I woke up at 7 cause I had lit consultation at 8 for OGLs. It was pretty cool. Haniel and Kim both woke up at 8 when I called them. O.o ULTIMATE RIGHT. The Narnia Closet in the RR is so fabulous. But being in there alone reminds me of Nightmare On Elm Street. DX SCARY. I wanted to change in there, then bolted out like a minute later. Then Hans, Kim and I were supposed to go for gp at 9 but I skipped that. XD Ballet started late cause we were all so slow and slackish. XD I went down with Jaslyn past 10.30 to buy bread cause Miss Gina was late. She came in at 11 then we did our dance. XD That's it, how pathetic. Hahahaha.
Then met Haniel, Aleem and Yoges at Bugis at like 3.30 where we did NOTHING. Went to Vivocity and spent OMG SPENT $72.25 AT CANDY EMPIRE. God I'm so naughty. XD I couldn't even shop for clothes cause there's nothing at Vivocity! REGRET. Next time, I'll go to a place not too high end for Cotton On. XD
We had a whole bunch of laughs at the MRT today. XD Especially when we were fooling around at the escalator. HAHAHA. I needed that, never laughed that hard in such a while. XD It was so funnnnnnnnnn. Gotta laugh like that again, it makes me happy!
SLEEPY AND TIRED. Wna sleep soon. That's what weekends are for. XD Taas darlings, HAPPY LOVEY DAY!
xoxo
Bex
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Orientation Second Day
MY VOICE IS SHOT.It would have been GONE if not for my liang cha and like 4 bottles of water. And I barely peed today for some reason. O.O I will convince myself that I perspired it all out. Hopefully that's the case. HAHAHAHAHA. Oh I found out that Haniel's CG's got some fabulous funny guys. XD
Adam's got a white shirt to lend me! WHEEEEEEE. But that bugger sleep so early. I mean, I can't blame the OGLs. But if I sleep at 11, methinks I'll be one of the latest OGLs to sleep. HAHAHAHA YES, WE'RE THAT TIRED. Freshmen better be glad kay. XD
So today was station games. The first two were a rough start, I got quite disappointed cause they didn't really cooperate or listen to instructions, dragged their feet etc. But can't blame them, it's so frigging early. I'm not even high in the morning, but I FORCE MYSELF TO. They don't even have the incentive, HIGH FOR WHAT! Luckily they didn't think like me, cause during the water station they all woke up. I mean DUH. XD Getting wet LEH, plus doing the running. And from then on, we just did totally well for the rest, and we had a load of fun. XD There were some almost-clashes, like Jing Fang and I got quite pissed off, but cnt pick fight right! So we let it tide over.
There were also some problems of OGLs snatching score sheets from councillors, but I think it was blown out of proportion, nothing happened in the end. Got me worried and disappointed for like nothing! XD So eventually, at the end of the day...
ORION GOT FIRST PLACE!!
ISN'T THAT AWESOME! I MEAN, WE DON'T USUALLY GET FIRST PLACE. THE FRESHMEN RULE!
But what sucked... I lost my barbell today! Alvin laughed and called me stupid cause I wedged it between my wallet then went to buy something. O.o Suppose I deserved that... DX Oh well, hope Acid Crue sells another one. BAH. I got another Haniel-and-you-look-quite-compatible comment today. XD And another I-actually-thought-you-were-together comment. I'm not surprised. HAHAHA. Haniel loves it for some reason! Stupid extra luh. HAHAHA LOVE YOU DARLING. He helped me post my letter, bought onion rings for me, and got bubble tea for me yesterday. <3 Such a sweetie pie! ILU!!
I'm gna go try to revise my dance, and pack my bag and generally get "administration" cleared before I sleep. HAHAHA. CCA performance tomorrow, wish me luck! NIGHT ALL!
xoxo
Bex
Monday, February 9, 2009
Games Orientation First Day!
OMG today was FUN.The freshmen were a little unresponsive in the morning, but that's expected right! They totally warmed up by the end of the day though, couldn't shut us up. XD My CG's still a little quiet, but at least that means they're good at the silent games. HAHAHAHA. Okay bad joke over. And they're not rude or anything, pretty nice people, easy going. XD
Methinks my face is a wee bit burnt from today's Amazing Race. THEN TOMORROW DAI. Got games in school, mostly all in the sun. O.o
Hopefully Fon can stay over Wednesday night! Haven't gotten around to asking mum, but I'll endeavour to gather my nerve after at least an hour of studying tonight. XD MAKING SURE SHE SEES ME. Hahahahahahaha. So hu tu right! XD
Got a call today, felt a little uneasy and it was like I got this subliminal message beneath the words. And went to this place with quite a few memories today. I hope I can get stuff out of my life cause it sucks when it's there.
xoxo
Bex
Sunday, February 8, 2009
DIE WHORE DIE
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
I love you Kim, I really do.
Kimberly Chek. XDDDD
My voice is better. COUGH. I'm singing properly to Arashi now. XD I know I shouldn't abuse it at a fragile stage but I WNA SING HAPPINESS! Hahahaha. Did the dance "A"s, it was torture. Not to mention the fact that I completely scratched up my parquet flooring. O.O Shhh, don't tell mum. XD
I got homework to do! Procrastination isn't in my dictionary. YEAH RIGHT.
xoxo
Bex
Fuck. You.
You know what, you can't really blame me for getting mad.So.
FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING MOTHERFUCKER.
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Ogl walk in
OGL Walk In rehearsal was fun today. XD We kinda wasted almost two hours watching the soccer guys defend against RJC during a match. In the end, we won. Dno how. HAHAHA.I remembered last year, when I was like a freshie, the OGLs did their walk in, and I thought they were UBER COOL Cause they didn't look embarrassed or unsure, they just looked like they really wanted to do it, and it sure as hell convinced me. XD And I could see how it's fun, judging from today. Hahahaha. Soon Hock is SUCH a girl! XD
Then today during piano I actually played quite well know! Smoother for the Sonata and for Brahms. And I didn't really screw up Bach as bad. Hahahaha. Maybe I'm getting used to it. Or maybe cause I played like a little this morning.
MONDAY'S THE START OF GAMES ORIENTATION! I'm gna keep mum til then to preserve my voice. XD
PS. Last night was very very tough, prolly the ultimate low of dealing with it. I think that should be the toughest thing to deal with, so hopefully when this blows over, I'll be done with it all. Thank you Kim, for being there for me, and for always knowing exactly what to say, even at 1am in the morning. XD I love you sugar. <3
Oh and thanks Jason, even though you just sit there feeling bad. HAHAHAHA NAW. XD
xoxo
Bex
Friday, February 6, 2009
Phone
It's like when you're on the phone with someone.And then like that person has a call on the other line.
So they put you on hold.
And hold.
And hold.
And hold.
Will you wait.
And wait.
And wait.
Wondering when they'll connect back?
Or will you hang up?
Cause if it's important, they'll call back again.
EPIDEMIC!
IT'S A FUCKING EPIC EPIDEMIC!Sorry, the play on words was just too good to pass up. And the F word was just to emphasise the magnitude of the situation. XD
EVERYONE, and I really mean like EVERYONE is getting sick. I dno who the hell is passing it around, cause everyone's just pointing fingersHAHAHAHA but Edward, Jamie, Me and now poor Aleem has it. Siddiqey took early leave today, poor soul. He was feverish, woozy, coughey, the lot. In short, he was absolutely miserable. Kinda like how Edward, Jamie and I felt. Actually, the three of us are STILL feeling kinda that way. I'm with the gross throat/cough/blocked nose, Edward's fluey and James welcomed the fever back. Goodness. This is terrible! Hope we get fine soon, it's a JOKE.
I can't count Kim and Haniel and Xing cause they're horrible pangseh-ers. They're like perpetually sick people, but they're not sick! RAAAAAHHHH. Xing just hasn't been sleeping so she's tired like all the time. Think back in sec 1/2/3/4 kinda Xing during lessons. HAHAHA. And Haniel's a little raspy but it's nothing serious, Kim's sinusitis hasn't caught my attention so it's NOT THERE. XD Aleem's like Xing, dno why he doesn't sleep much too. Studying or something I GUESS. I CHOOSE TO BELIEVE THAT. XD Then I guess his immunity system got whacked and the fever/flu/cough bug jumped him. HAHAHA.
Tomorrow we have to report at like 8ish for OGL Walk-In rehearsals. ON A SATURDAY. OH SPARE US, MERCILESS RESPONSIBILITY. WE DEVOTE ALL OUR TIME TO SCHOOL AND THEN SOME. CAN'T WE HAVE UNTOUCHED WEEKENDS? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
Sorry, freaky bout of madness over. XD
So, I shall complain in a dignified manner about reporting to school at an unearthly hour (for a Saturday) to do OGL stuff which I brought upon myself! THERE! I'm proud of my maturity of thought. XD So it'll do ya'll good to ignore those words in caps right up there, so as not to tarnish your already marred impression of my sanity. XD I'm gna go now, before you just totally lose the shred of respect you have for me. XD
PS: Thanks to all my gorgeously supportive friends. I didn't realise ya'll were THAT awesome, I'm serious. I'm so glad and so lucky to have ya'll in my life, cause I couldn't ask for any one else more wonderful to share my times with. <3 I'll be here for ya'll for ANYTHING, just as you were here for me! That actually includes 3am calls for any reason, IF I CAN HEAR THE VIBRATION THROUGH MY SLUMBER. And NO ABUSING THE PRIVILEGE. XD
PSS: Thanks so much, YOU GIRL WHO I JUST SPOKE TO ON MSN, for being there for me and for lending me a listening ear. Thanks for offering to be there anytime, and for the straightforward advice, I needed someone to sort out stuff for me just like that. XD Love you darling!
xoxo
Bex
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Broken Strings, White horse.
But you broke me, now I can't feel anything.It tears me up, I tried to hold on but it hurts too much.
I tried to forgive but it's not enough to make it all okay.
You can't feel anything that your heart don't want to feel.
We are turning into dust, playing house in the ruins of us.
It's like chasing the very last train when we both know it's too late
As I paced back and forth all this time
cause I honestly believed in you
Holding on, the days drag on
Stupid girl, I should've known, I should've known
That I'm not a princess, this ain't a fairytale.
"A break up is like a broken mirror. It's better to leave it broken than hurt yourself trying to fix it."
I've seen the light
YES. FINALLY. BEX HAS SEEN THE LIGHT.That's what most of you will say after I've relayed my suddenly burst of courage to you tomorrow. I know you're sick of my doormat-ness. Most people find it hard to understand, but I know some do because they know me. XD I'm just like that. But anyways, no more self-pitying-wishy-washy-whiney-Suwen crap anymore. At least, hopefully.
The thing is, I had a short burst of courage this afternoon. Then I caved in an hour later. At that point, I had no idea if it was a moment of courage or weakness, I really didn't know. I felt like I couldn't differentiate anymore, I was so screwed up. But whilst I can't differentiate in my case, I CAN tell the difference. And I know what I need, which is courage.
And after a song which helped me really realise a lot of things, especially how you can't make things happen or change reality, now I'm feeling the burst come back, stronger this time. Think it was just about when after I let go and after Yuen spoke to me. And I'm hoping that now it isn't just a moment, but that it'll last long enough to tide me over, because I really need it right now. All I know is that I will try. Cause I know it's gna hurt either way, but I NEED to be strong. I can take it the hard way and moan for the rest of goodness knows when, or take it the fast way, like ripping a band-aid off, sharp and quick.
I think cause I've actually dealt with it, with advice from gorgeous people, I guess it finally drilled into my head. Especially after a seriously personal one-on-one with Yuen in the dark. Guess it makes it better to think, I dno. HAHAHA. Never been one for sunlight, this proves everything! XD
I know I'm being really ambiguous here cause it's more of an epiphany and personal reflection, but since only my friends read my blog, they'll know what they're talking about. At least, I'm hoping only my friends do. HAHAHA.
Wish me luck, and for all my beautiful friends, be there for me. Though, of course, I have no doubts as to your support for me. <3
xoxo
Bex
PS. This song on the radio now, I'm just listening to it, I'm gna post it, cause it's really true. Please listen to these two, I know how people don't really listen to songs people post on their blog, but you'll really see what I mean. The first one is the actual song that made me realise everything. And the second one is what I'm hearing right now.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Back to normal.
Back to normal, cause we all need normal. Normal keeps civilization teering on the edge of sanity. Without "normal", we'd all plunge into sane-less oblivion.So I'm fucking sick. Yeah... High fever, sore throat, gross globby phlegm, cough, runny nose. Essentially, the works. Ohman, during the OGL period too. I'm prepared to DAI. Ohh, I just looked up, and my head went woah. So you can add "Headache" to the list of ailments too. DX
Two day MC, hopefully I don't have to use tomorrow.
Coughcoughcough.
xoxo
Bex
Just fine.
I dno when did I let myself turn into such a doormat. Goodbye, self-respect!It's over.
I'm so fucked up right now. But at least the bad part of the hurting's over. And actually, I should've ended it right there, to escape the misery. I honestly dno why I kept hanging in there at the most painful point, but I know I won't do it again.
I really need to stop being naive, guillible, the lot.
Living in paranoia isn't easy, but it's better than living in pain.
Cause then I won't believe all those lies dished out to me so easily ever again. I really don't need this right now, I should have seen it coming. Usually, fantastic promises are the ones you really have to watch out for. I wasn't even this involved in the start, but as time went by, I believed everything, and let myself get into it. Telling myself this is going to be different, it's not just any other relationship. That there are such things as fairytales after all.
I was so wrong.
I kind of brought it upon myself, really. Me and my silly ideals. It's time to be pragmatic, like Charlotte, because that's just the ugly truth. So now, I'll make a promise. I promise myself never to fall so deeply for someone again. Cause the other kind of falling is much, much worse.
But am I really the kind of person who can keep this kind of promise? I NEED someone. And I completely trust people all the time, because that's just me. And it SUCKS bigtime.
And now this is gna turn into one of those emo kid blogs ya'll see in google.
EWW NO.
But yet... At the same time. There's is tiny thing inside me. The thing that flew out of Pandora's Box last. I don't know why it's nesting in back of my heart. Maybe my heart just needs the pure white light it flew out in. Maybe I need it for now. And maybe I'm being stupid just hanging on, but I don't care. I need Hope, or I'll lose everything. Yet, that white butterfly's nesting on a perch of Evil. That selfish, evil little part of me, that everyone has. But I won't ever admit it, because this part is hidden in all of us, that little bit of selfishness we all entertain. I'll bury it deep within me, but I'll only take it out to contemplate over it when I'm with the most important people of my life. Yeah Haniel, come ask me about it. Hahahahaha.
I'll be fine. I will be, because I can't afford not to.
One last question: Will you miss me? Don't answer it, because I don't need to know anymore. You'll know it for yourself, and that's how it's gna be.
xoxo
Bex
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
So The Drama
Everyone who knows me well enough will know that I hate drama.Especially the kind that involves personal decisions and sacrifices.
"To be without feelings
is to be safe;
to be aware,
to feel deeply
is to court danger
to oneself..."
Fistful Of Colours
Monday, February 2, 2009
Thanks to Kim.
Thanks to Kim, asofterworld.com is my <3"There are no sweeter words than this.
Nothing lasts forever."
"The world isn't going to end just because we've done everything wrong.
Though, that would be easier."
"Decided to kill myself and now life is beautiful.
Like a city looking greener and greener
The smaller it gets out the airplane window."
xoxo
Bex
Orientation First Day
SO, I was an OGL for the first day today. XD Basically, my group freshies are kinda quiet, but they warmed up in the end. They actually laughed. HAHA. And I got kinda bullied by those other OGLs who were too lazy to say the bit on The Athenaeum, and made me say my spiel for like 3 groups. Then I stood on tiptoe and yelled, and they looked at me and started laughing. BOO. Ask the short kiddy one to do it, why don't you!Cute guy. YEY. HAHAHA. RANDOM!
There was the GCE presentation today. OMG it was messed up. Technical problems everywhere. BUT, line of the day!
"One word to describe this trip: INDESCRIBABLE."
OMG and like Dwayne didn't realise he said it until he did! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA ULTIMATE! Gawd I love you Dwayne, you made my day. HAHAHA.
OKAY so anyways right, I was like being weird throughout and hyper cause no one was. O.O But it was pretty entertaining, and I think the freshies like me. XD We had a good laugh at the CT venue later on in the day, Halment is so awesome. HAHA. Did I spell his name right? XDDD DEAR JOSHIE WOSHIE(yeah I totally went there) came to tag along and to essentially laugh at my presentations. BOO HIM. He loves my OG apparently, cause he doesn't like his OGLs, two science guys. He wanted to change group. HAHA pity... Maybe next week? We'll see where luck ends us up. HAHA. And he keeps making me feel bad for taking his guitar from him. SORRY LUH!
I swear, PE was the most annoying thing ever today. It was like frigging boot camp, Bernard Tan treats us like guys! Not that I can't do it, course, but he should be a little reasonable. Ahh nevermind, if equality's what we want, equality's what we'll get!
And I cried during the lit night rehearsals. It was just this acting piece by Yuen and Nisha about a mother losing her memory. The last bit just made me SOB. I'm WAY too emotional! HAHAHAHAHA.
So the rest of the week, we don't have to spend a lot of time with our OG anymore, only next week, where it's all games! I am PREPARED TO LOSE MY VOICE. EEP. DX
xoxo
Bex
Sunday, February 1, 2009
SCHOOL. BUSY.
SCHOOLSCHOOLSCHOOL.BUSYBUSYBUSY.
The next week and I think the week after that, I have to be in school by 6.50 every freaking morning. BAH. Busy with school crap, late days, lit night, dance and now OGLness. No wonder I'm so stressed out. BOO. Been emotionally unstable recently, yes, STILL.
And now like parentals keep going "it's not the time for playing". Yeah cause I totally play all the freaking time.
GRR. I CAN'T WAIT FOR ORIENTATION AND LIT NIGHT TO BE OVER AND DONE WITH.
Times are so stressful and tense now. I hate it.
xoxo
Bex