Friday, July 27, 2012
Thought the truth may vary, this ship will carry our bodies safe to shore.
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
I'm Not Sewing, I'm Not Knitting, I'm Crochetting.
This is but one example to illustrate many instances.Why do you bother to know or ask what is going on, what am I currently doing, what am I studying, if you don't remember? It's no picnic to keep repeating shit as much as 3 times in an hour. What's the point of asking if you can't bother to remember. Stop taking it for granted that I'll repeat myself - it's irritating to the highest degree. And if you know I have told you something but you have forgotten, don't bloody ask if it doesn't matter. What's it to you? You don't have use in knowing certain things. So stop bugging me!
Rebecca
Sometimes I forget my own name. I hear Bex so often, the occasional Becky... It's striking to hear it after so long.Rebecca is a pretty name. I've always liked it! Old-fashioned sounding, nice to write. All the letters in my name have some form of roundness. Femininity in a name? Okay omg so weird to be praising my own name.
xoxo
Bex (Rebecca)
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
10 Smells I Love
I love the smell of1) The ground before it rains.
Nothing like that earthy, salty smell of soil. It's very basic nature ole factory! :D It's refreshing and mellow all at the same time.
2) My bed.
That wonderful warm smell which means its time to sleep! Also makes it hard to leave in the morning. :(
3) My baby bunting! <3
My sweet soft pillow! Don't call her "chou chou". :( Her smell is soft and comforting and smells like companionship during times when I feel sad, young or old.
4) People that are special to me.
Okay this sounds funny but everyone has a smell and smells of people I love and I know make me feel warm and fuzzy and grateful.
5) F&N's ice cream soda.
I'm mad about the smell!! Don't ask me why. That pretty vanilla scent really drives me nuts. So much so that I inhaled it one time by accident. Think carbonate water in your sinuses. Ouch. :(
6) Turpentine.
Okay this is another weird one. And I try not to breathe too deeply. But when I go into an art room or around an area being painted, I can't help taking a few indulgent sniffs. It smells adventurous and deep. Glue sniffing addiction? Shh I refuse to think about it!
7) Mum's perfume.
I guess this sorta counts as people that are special to me, but it's a whole new category cause she has HEAPS of perfume but ALL of them are familiar to me. Brings back childhood memories of me waiting in my parents' room on Sunday while they get ready for church, and mum spritzes on her perfume. :) Dad's cologne doesn't do the same for me because I always cough when he sprays his. :( Too overwhelming I think.
8) Really fresh air.
Sometimes when the wind blows into my room, I'll run over and take deep deep breaths until I'm light headed and there's this faint stirring in my heart because it smells like New Zealand and quiet freedom.
9) Meat cooking.
I know it's unglamorous but I love meat. I LOVE IT. And the smell of cooking meat (burgers, steak, sausages) makes me go really crazy. If I'm hungry, worse! The best type of cooked meat smell is the type you get to eat after smelling it. :D
10) Old story books.
They all have that same smell. Like comfort and the promise of a story and fast-passing hours. It makes me feel so secure and excited. Printed paper just does that for me. Ebooks have no smell. :( Cause of that, I'll never be a believer. Sorry Amazon!
xoxo
Bex
Monday, July 23, 2012
Big events
I usually blog when1) I'm bored
2) Big events take place and when I have no one to talk to about them.
This would be the second option. Oh and it should be 2) + cryptically put since I KNOW this is open to everyone's reading, even if everyone isn't reading this.
I just don't get it. How can people be so petty and two-faced and traitorous. PEOPLE. It seems like you know them, then suddenly you find out this huge piece of shit hit the fan a long time ago and everyone noticed it but you because you were kept from it! And then after that you try to talk to someone you trust about it then you find out they have no time for you. And that's when your life is falling apart. And then much later on, the person you trust does something pretty damn weird. Something to do with the shit-hitting-the-fan time. And you hope they better have a damn good explanation for it.
It's so damn hard to keep it together. It's like a fresh wave dug up from the past slapping you in the face all over again. Like a cold wave when you're lying on the beach trying to enjoy the sun. And it's hard to dry off. Hard to forget. But I can't fall apart because there's so many things unanswered. But I don't feel like it's going to stop me from crumbling anyway.
Fucking hurts.
3 months and 8 days
Since my last post.I have a feeling this blog is going to become one of those blogs that has a perpetual latest entry being "the first in a long time" or apologising for lack of updates.
Here's seeing the end of a really hectic week! Or month...?
Following the concert, which we worked really hard for, we dove straight into our competition piece with less than a month to The Big Day. And guess what...?
WE WON.
Never in my wildest dreams! And this felt really big to me; I was positively joyfulelatedecstatic after I heard our score. I feel like everything we put in, all the emotions and hard work and obsession and ear worms (introductory phrase on repeat in my head daily, footsteps as metronome whilst walking) WAS WORTH IT.
The gala performance, which was today, didn't go so well though. Wasn't in the right frame of mind, flustered and unprepared when we started. Nevermind, this will be an experience to learn from; I'll take my time until I'm done! "This is the only time percussion gets to speak", said someone today, and he's right!
I won't make promises to blog often - hardly have the time. But I think, just to break the monotony of it all, I'll post something interesting next time. Even if it's another "first time in a long time" post, we all know that, so I'll write something to entertain both me and myself. :D
xoxo
Bex