Saturday, December 1, 2007

Hatred

I'm just thinking.

So...

Hatred.

It kinda eats you up from inside, doesn't it? People say, throw away your hatred, it makes you bitter, like angry. But they don't experience it, that's why they say it. It's so simple for them. If they experience something that gives them these emotions, slap bang right in the face, they wouldn't be saying that. Cause then they would know, it is so hard. It's too hard to just throw it away. It sticks to you, and you can't simply get rid of it. Especially if you see that situation everday. It's almost impossible. Note, I didn't say impossible, cause there are strong people out there who are able to suck it up, get a hold of themselves, and move on, not wasting their time being angry, or bitterly hating. But most people aren't that strong. Most people end up being torn at by their anger and hate, cause it's all inside them and they can't just cast it aside; it's too much for them.

But hanging on is really bad too. It makes you a bitter, snappy person that no one likes. It ruins your life, literally. It'll crumble around your ears, and you're left standing next to a skeleton of your life. And sooner or later, hatred'll turn into sadness. Either that, or sadness'll grow from it. That's the worst, because then you'll have to deal with BOTH hatred and sadness. Sucks. And sadness SUCKS ALL, cause it leaves you feeling like you're all alone in this world. Great. Another contender, LONELINESS. This really blows, doesn't it. I can't define "SAD". It's a giant hole inside of you, you feel really empty, and weepy and such, especially after you cry. Cause usually sadness leads to crying. USUALLY. Sorta. And crying drains you. Leaves you tired, worn, and still sad. Like, if it's a "Sad Cry", it feels like something's been taken out of you, not exactly painfully ripped away though. If it's a "Painful Cry", it's like there's this ache in you that won't go away, and it'll stay for days. It doesn't help, really, but I guess it's some form of instinct, release. You can't release your sadness, so you release tears instead.

This blows. I think I'll go sleep early. But that'll mean I'll be lying there, not sleeping, just thinking too much. And we all know where that leads to. Well, we don't, but I do, and that's what counts. I bought a new furry throw today, and I can cuddle up to it. Night ya'll.

xoxo
Bex

Posted by Rebecca @ 10:36 PM