Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Young, twisted and sad.

I realised how young I actually am; only sixteen. Yet I've done so much. I've done, thought and wished so many bad things, more than a good portion of you people reading have even dreamt of me doing. If you really looked into my mind, you'd stop thinking that Rebecca's a good person.

If you've even thought that in the first place.

I'm pretty screwed up. Everyone is, of course. But I just can't fathom how someone at 16 could have this many problems. Wouldn't the rest of your life then be a freaking cesspit of misery? Maybe it gets better. It probably does, cause at this rate, hardly anyone would live past 30, thanks to the last third of Malthus' natural checks - famine, vice and MISERY.

Excuse the pun.

But I just don't like being sad. I mean duh. Unfortunately, it's not "real" to be happy all the time. People go, God, face reality, there's no such thing as being perpetually light-hearted. But I do try. It just sucks when you feel sad, especially in those times for the stupidest reasons. I think it's a waste of time. But the problem about trying to avoid is cause you think it's a waste of time or whatever, it all comes back pretty hard on you.

And another thing, it also sucks when you can't say a thing cause somehow, you're afraid and you don't know what of. Another waste of time.

For the love of God, I'm only 16.

So young, and so naive true.

Posted by Rebecca @ 9:23 PM