Saturday, June 6, 2009

Ye ye.



So I went to some early father's day celebration with my fam, including grandparents on dad's side. So annoying; cause of that I had to miss church. And in the end, we set out when my service should've ended. And it's not like the parentals told me in advance in a reasonable manner. It was on the way home (to church, as I thought) at about 3.45, just 15 minutes before I was supposed to be at church, then did the parental units INFORM me that I shouldn't go cause of the fucking dinner, and stay at home and rest. Annoyance to no end.

We went to the restaurant Singapura, where they have cold crab, and the food in the end wasn't all satisfying cause my mind and heart activity reached this week's climax for some reason, and I had the most terrible fluttering in me. It's bad. DX ANYWAYS, I DIGRESS. On the way to the place, I found out that apparently, some acquaintence of my yeye in Malaysia died. Comatose for a week then died I think. He hit his head or something. But that's not really important, cause I didn't know the poor deceased. What's more significant is something interesting yeye said.

"With all these old people, every phone call is a frightening thing."

Pretty deep huh. Sometimes people just say things that really mean something without thinking. I think those are special moments of our lives we have to witness. It's really true, makes you think a lot, and makes me not wna grow old! DX

But yeye's not all that philosophical either; he's racist. HAHA. Well, people of their generation tend to judge people by the colour of their skin, so I guess it can't be helped if it's ingrained. Cause mum took the mrt to Little India and walked to the restaurant to meet us cause the car couldn't fit all 6 of us, and yeye was like, "All these blacks around, can't be too careful." Or something along those lines, I pretty much got the first part correct, and the gist of the whole thing. But it's kinda unreasonable cause why would a guy like be a threat just cause he's coloured? A chinese man, or someone of your own ethnicity could be as equally dangerous. It's in the nature, not the colour of your skin. There're still quite a few people going around that are like that, but maybe they're more racist cause of their dislike of other ethnic habits.

Then again, all of us are racist in some way. Though that's no excuse; it's whether we let that innate racism affect our actions and behavior towards other. Just imagine it this way, you're walking alone on a street, and you see a man of a different colour walking towards you. Would you be more afraid, than if it was a man of your own ethnicity? It's the innate fear of the different and the Other that propells racism. But it's the intent to hurt by display of racism that counts. So just think about it.



My mind's been in an utter state of turmoil this entire week. I feel lost, scared, hurt, sad all at once. I dno how long I can take this. I have to make it known. God, I hate emotions; I hate being human.

Posted by Rebecca @ 8:55 PM