Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Exam sustainability.

Guide to exam sustainability
Don't take them.

HAHAHAHA.

God. Stressed. But I memorise things real good when stressed for some reason. I was soaking it all in, in the library like 30 minutes before geog. Of course, nothing I memorised came out... O.o And I'm getting that whole eyesight thing when you look at your paper for like 2/3 hours without resting your eyes then when you look up, it's kinda blurry and you feel slightly cross-eyed (italicised for effect XD).

At least I don't have that lazy-and-no-mood-to-do-any-work feeling I had like two weeks before prelims. Then the week before kicked in and suddenly I was on a high powered study craze. After reading Haniel's post, I realised that the two times I studied with him, he was the one succumbing to distractions and sleeping, which I didn't do AT ALL. DON'T DO THAT HANIEL. But knowing that there are two more months of this exhaustion, stress and constant teetering on the edge of a nervous breakdown makes me wonder how am I gna cope later. Can I really keep this up? I haven't been in this strange zone before, and I dno what will happen if I push it. Can I cope, or will I burn out? Don't wna think about it yet; the thought of it frightens me. Wonder how long my new found drive can last. I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THIS PERIOD OF MY LIFE RIGHT NOW.

But I don't feel normal anymore. Like, I find myself thinking in a really structured way. I'm still impulsive and fun, but when I work things out it's like I'm a robot. Is it permanent??

I'M FUCKING SCARED.

Sigh...
Not 18, and I'm slowly forgetting how to live.

xoxo
Bex

Posted by Rebecca @ 10:57 PM