Tuesday, December 25, 2007
Bah, humbug!
'Tis the festive season to be jolly. Presents all around, food, more presents, family, more food, and such. EVERYONE'S HAPPY.But I'm not.
'Tis also the season to make money.
Don't get me wrong, but seriously. Companies take advantage of this holiday commemorating the birth of the Sun God (yes) to turn it into one big advertising opportunity. Now, I'm not blaming their strategic thinking and marketing schemes, but it's really gone too far. Giant clay Santas everywhere, sparkly stuff, tinsle, ornaments, christmas trees, ALL store bought.
AND THE SALES. CHRIST. The crowds are suffocating, noisy children everpresent, IT JUST PISSES ME OFF. The kids, people, sales, I HATE IT.
Guess you could call me the modern day scrooge. XD
But I don't mind the presents, and the food, the parties and the company. But it's the mindless consumerism and material gluttony that turns me off. People shouldn't buy things just for the sake of buying them. Things are purchased with excuses like "Oh, they're presents for..." and "But they're so cheap!" And half of them don't get given away, or used often. It's just because of the "Christmas Sales" that make them so appealing to the Singaporean. It's our way of life. Well, I, for one, apparently no longer harbor any desire to live that way anymore, judging from my take on these "festive" things.
Maybe I've fallen out of love with the holiday cheer. Grown out of it? Hahaha, I wouldn't waste time thinking about THAT. After all, it only happens once a year!
Merry Christmas everyone!
xoxo
Bex
Saturday, December 22, 2007
An epiphany.
We're alone in this world.In this life.
No shit.
I mean, people always go, "You don't have to be alone, we're always there for you," blablabla. But when the day is done, you're still alone. It all boils down to you, yourself, and no one else. No matter how many people got your back, or how many people offer to help, you go through your own life ALONE. No matter how many people know your problems, or even if you have people, or a person, that knows everything about you, you're still alone.
Which is a good thing, sometimes. When you're alone, you don't have to trust people, because at the end of the day, you'll just get disappointed. At least when you're disappointed with yourself, you immediately know that. But if someone else disappoints you, it affects you in such a way, especially if that person is close to you. You shouldn't lean on anyone but yourself. It's good, especially for those fucking skittish people that are afraid to tell others how they feel, so they just sit there and suck the shit up and take it, and the other person'll just keeping doing that for the rest of their life.
So when you're alone, you don't have to be disappointed with people, disgusted by people, hurt by people. Being by yourself is really underrated. You go through your journey alone. No one will EVER know you, never really. So in the end, it's all you.
xoxo
Bex
Nonplussed.
I'm confused. Why do so many people like to go all DRAMA on their blogs. It's a little annoying. And if I do, that's cause I have the license. HAHA. XD Naw. But isn't it annoying sometimes? When I read blog entries along the lines of:i feel lyke i'm living a lie...
OR
the payn is crushing me, i can't breathe, just lying there, my chest heaving,
I HAVE TO ROLL MY EYES UNTIL KINGDOM COME. BECAUSE IT'S SO GODDAMN STUPID AND ANNOYING. SO THE DRAMA. Cut the decoration, it's not like it's a bloody essay. Not to mention the horrifying grammar, and the desperate grasping of BIG WORDS, and the weak attempt to sound like you have an astounding command of the English language. And... DRAMADRAMADRAMA. These -->> "..." are seriously overrated. People need to stop abusing them, NOW.
PISSED OFF.
xoxo
Bex
Friday, December 21, 2007
BACK.
HEY ALL. I'm back from KL! Bet ya'll missed me. I had like 9 messages when I came home. XD And a 8am visitor this morning. HAHA. Naw, Fon just came to give me my phone. I hope I can go to her Christmas parties on monday. Apparently her German rellies are cool, and I don't really wna go to my cousin's one... So strange, rellies from both sides that I hardly know and am expected to remember all their names. O.oSo all we did in KL was to shop and eat, shop and eat, blawblawblaw. I'm gna go exercise very soon. EEEEEEEEEEEE.
Apparently our carpenter is late. He's supposed to come today, so we're all stuck at home waiting for him, AND HE'S NOT HERE. GRR. Stupid man. We can't do anything today cause of him. Did he DIE or something?? O.o
Went to SRJC this morning at NINE, SO DAMN EARLY, to sign some form thing for my admission and course thingy. SIAN. Had to wear colorful clothing. And tie my hair. Eeeee. At least it didn't take too long.
OMG. YOU KNOW, I BOUGHT THREE CDs FROM KL!!! Ozzy's new one, two ACDC live ones!! <33333333333333333 The ACDC ones are VCDs but I can play it on my CD player cause it's also a VCD player! Ancient as it is, there are times when I TRULY LOVE IT.
HAHAHA. OMG. These people called from dno where, saying they had to deliever a relax chair thingy, and my sis said "electric chair". HAHA YAY IT'S MINE. The Courts people came by to deliever a MATTRESS for sis, not her bed, and now my chair is coming!! <3333 I'll go off now to receive it! YAY.
ILU ALL.
xoxo
Bex
PS. OMG I WNA FAINT. IN THE END OUR CARPENTER IS NOT COMING. MURDERZZZZZ.
Sunday, December 16, 2007
D.
You just can't leave things alone, can you?When things are calming down, you stir them up again.
I can't help but feel you want it that way.
You just want to undermine me.
Challenge my dreams, my hope for future.
I hate it that you're so unsupportive.
You. Die. Now.
Fuck you.
Early
Ohman, it's hella early. I have NO IDEA how I woke up so early. Church later, ewh. BORING. I wna meet Fon today, but I'm lazy to make arrangements. XD Cause I'm going to KL from Monday to Thursday! Yeesh, another early morning, we have to be at the pick up point by 7.30. TIANS! But I know SOMEONE will be celebrating my leave. XD I just keep going away, don't I? Hahahaha.So I don't even know what the hell I came online for. I had a pretty sweet dream last night! Maybe I'm hoping someone will be online to talk to me. XDDDDDD EEEE okay moving on.
My muscles ache from ballet. DX Complaincomplain. But the good thing is that my pointe shoes are breaking in nicely!
Oh mum's home, catch ya'll later!
<333
xoxo
Bex
Saturday, December 15, 2007
ESCAPE.
So there was an unofficial REDcamp outing at Escape Theme Park today! It was SO awesome, cause I haven't been there in like ever.So first thing in the morning, BALLET WITHOUT TOEPADS. AND YES, IT WAS POINTE. I nearly died from the pain. Then I still had to go home and clean up, last minute orders from mum. So Drey came by at 12.30, and we went to meet Jiaw. That bumbum last minute say go. O.o So we were supposed to meet at Outram, but he said he was hungry, and Outram had nothing to eat, so we went to Dhoby Ghaut. He complained like all the way about his concession card. XD And naturally, BHBed all the way for like the whole day, never stopping. HAHAHA.
So we EVENTUALLY got to Escape, late, I might add. And met Weixuan, Jeremy, Clement, Matthew, Lawrence, two really rad girls from the other tribes BLABLABLA there. Then some how, the whole bunch of us convened inside. Ooh Drey's online. Haha, okay, back to the point.
We rode the Rainbow first, just about screamed my throat and lungs out. HAHAHA. Then followed by Viking, good shit. <333 HAHAHA WEIXUAN'S FACE WAS UBER FUNNY. And I found out that if you raise your feet, it's like you're flying! YEY. Then the Flipper, alright, but it took real long, longer than the other queues. So long, in fact, that a bunch of SLs and campers went to sit the ghey kiddy train ride. HAHAHA. Then the HAUNTED HOUSE. OMG LA. That Weixuan kept trying to scare us, cause I was clinging on to him like mad, and Drey was clinging on to ME. I have NO IDEA why I agree to do this, and I also have NO IDEA why the hell I'm so scared of these things. HAHAHA. A bunch of them didn't go out at the end and stayed behind to scare us, so we thought we'd do the same to Jeremy's bunch. Couldn't tell if it worked, I don't think it did. HAHAHA.
That's about all the fun today. OH. I bought a new Emily bag, and the third issue for The Umbrella Academy. <3 GERARD. AND a book of Gothic Fairy Tales. Like a comic or something. It is LOVE.
And also, I forgot to give everyone their things today. Cept for Drey's souvenirs. I didn't give Weixuan his, and Jiaw's CD, and pay Clarence back for the entry fee cause he used Nets. XDDD WE'LL DO IT SOON AT THE CENTURIONS GATHERING. YEYYY.
Bye lovies, I'm gna go on myspace. So much better than friendster. XDDDDD
<3333333
xoxo
Bex
Friday, December 14, 2007
VOTE FOR A7X
Go, lovies, and do me a favour. Help my all time favourite band, Avenged fucking Sevenfold, WIN the Fuse TV awards against Korn by clicking on this and following the instructions in the voting poll area to vote for them! I love you all!<333333
xoxo
Bex
PS. Don't vote for the wrong one!! Hahahaha.
Thursday, December 13, 2007
I'M BACK
I'M BACK BITCHES!! XD You all totally missed me. <33333 And guess what? I TOTALLY MISSED YOU GUYS TOO!!!So... I forgot two reasons why NZ is AWESOME! XDDDDDD
1. They totally made a huge deal about Led Zeppelin's concert. I doubt Sinagpore did.
2. THEY HAD GERARD ON C4!!!
So C4 is like NZ's MTV. Apart from playing really rad videos (and really bad ones too), their VJ who we watch is uber cute, and I mean his personality, and they had Gerard!!
So he was playing this drawing game with Gee, where they drew three different lines on their papers, then swapped over and gave the other a theme to draw out of those three lines. Gee gave the VJ the theme "The Assassination Of JFK", and the VJ gave Gee "The Cover Of The next MCR CD". So Gee drew this awesome but out of point kinda sea and flying boat over the water thing, and said "I guess the next record has to be about sea shanties." HE'S SO ADORABLE. <333333333 But he was scratching like, think Ray in LOTMS. XDDD Dad said they're all grubby and such, I told him to shut up and get out. HAHAHA. XD PWNED!!
So when we got back, it's HOT, and there was a bloody power cut sometime during out vacation, so the fridge shut off, and basically EVERYTHING INSIDE ROTTED AWAY. Like, when I went into the house, I immediately detected the smell. So I was like Eeeeee, what's that? And then I opened the fridge and I was all EURGH. When we got the power running again, I saw that the fridge had like, brown stuff at the bottom, it was SERIOUSLY MAJOR GROSS OUT MATERIAL. The smell was TERRIBLE. Think spoilt mushrooms, times 10. THE ODOUR WAS SO UNBEARABLE. I totally felt like puking. But whatever, seeing as our family is basically dysfunctional and incapable of getting help, sis and I had to help wash out the shelves whilst Dad bummed out upstairs. MEN! See, our maid didn't return. O.o I dno what happened, but she's coming home tomorrow.
So anyways, now my bones hurt from washing out the fridge shelves, especially my back and right knee. Bloody chronic hurt. And I'm going out with Drey and Rae tomorrow, hopefully. And another time to ESCAPE! on saturday! I LOVE Escape! CAN'T WAIT.
They just mentioned MCR on MTV. DX I suddenly don't feel in the mood to be happy. EVER. Don't talk to me. Night everyone.
xoxo
Bex
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
MAD.
I just don't get why, maybe it just seems to me, that people don't seem to think about anyone else but themselves. Maybe it's me. Maybe not.Huh.
So I'm in NZ, it's pretty peachy. Somewhat boring, but it's awesome in like so many ways.
1. Buskers, really good; Bonus, really cute. XD
2. THEY PLAY METALLICA ON THE ROCK RADIO.
3. THEY HAVE A GODDAMN ROCK RADIO.
4. They're all mega friendly.
5. They call you "Dear" or "Darling" regardless of gender. It's really sweet, and really funny too. XD Think gangsta guy. HAHA.
6. They have this gorgeous accent. CHOICE!!
7. The thrill rides are AMAZING. HAHAHA.
So it's 7 reasons why I love NZ. But we ain't coming back here again, for a REAL long time. Maybe cause the cost of living here is like HIGH. The only reasonable thing here is Subway, and even one meal costs 8.90. "WHAT??" I hear the masses cry. XD Yes, but you should see the OTHER meals. 16 dollars plus, and that's the average. MAN. How sad.
Anyways, I miss heaps of people, and of course, heaps of people miss me too. XDDDD ILU ALL. Gotta go back to the hotel now. XD
BYE.
xoxo
Bex
PS. I've picked up a little slang since I've arrived, so if I don't make sense, you gotta tell me, cause I forget myself. HAHA. Bye lovies.
Sunday, December 2, 2007
Oh, and...
People tell me I think too much.Well, I do the thinking for people who don't.
"Cogito, ergo sum." - René Descartes
I think, therefore I am.
Lonely
I hate it.It's like everyone's blowing you off.
Or saying you're "acting strange".
Or when it seems like they don't want you there.
Unwanted, unneeded.
And when you just need someone, no one's there.
No one'll just be there for you, just cause they want to.
They do it out of obligation, or some other reason unbeknownst to you.
But my point is.
Being lonely sucks.
Especially when you don't want to be.
xoxo
Bex
FRIENDSTER
FRIENDSTER IS SO GODDAMN ANNOYING.I can't even sign in. BLOODY. It keeps going back in to the Sign In page.
People, I have a confession...
I think I like Sean Paul.
OHMYGOD.
I hope this is temporary...
AND.
I'm wearing a skirt.
OHMYGOD AGAIN.
Today is SO weird.
I'm leaving tomorrow!
Miss me, bitches! XDDD
<33333333
xoxo
Bex
Saturday, December 1, 2007
Hatred
I'm just thinking.So...
Hatred.
It kinda eats you up from inside, doesn't it? People say, throw away your hatred, it makes you bitter, like angry. But they don't experience it, that's why they say it. It's so simple for them. If they experience something that gives them these emotions, slap bang right in the face, they wouldn't be saying that. Cause then they would know, it is so hard. It's too hard to just throw it away. It sticks to you, and you can't simply get rid of it. Especially if you see that situation everday. It's almost impossible. Note, I didn't say impossible, cause there are strong people out there who are able to suck it up, get a hold of themselves, and move on, not wasting their time being angry, or bitterly hating. But most people aren't that strong. Most people end up being torn at by their anger and hate, cause it's all inside them and they can't just cast it aside; it's too much for them.
But hanging on is really bad too. It makes you a bitter, snappy person that no one likes. It ruins your life, literally. It'll crumble around your ears, and you're left standing next to a skeleton of your life. And sooner or later, hatred'll turn into sadness. Either that, or sadness'll grow from it. That's the worst, because then you'll have to deal with BOTH hatred and sadness. Sucks. And sadness SUCKS ALL, cause it leaves you feeling like you're all alone in this world. Great. Another contender, LONELINESS. This really blows, doesn't it. I can't define "SAD". It's a giant hole inside of you, you feel really empty, and weepy and such, especially after you cry. Cause usually sadness leads to crying. USUALLY. Sorta. And crying drains you. Leaves you tired, worn, and still sad. Like, if it's a "Sad Cry", it feels like something's been taken out of you, not exactly painfully ripped away though. If it's a "Painful Cry", it's like there's this ache in you that won't go away, and it'll stay for days. It doesn't help, really, but I guess it's some form of instinct, release. You can't release your sadness, so you release tears instead.
This blows. I think I'll go sleep early. But that'll mean I'll be lying there, not sleeping, just thinking too much. And we all know where that leads to. Well, we don't, but I do, and that's what counts. I bought a new furry throw today, and I can cuddle up to it. Night ya'll.
xoxo
Bex