Thursday, July 30, 2009
What Breaks My Heart - School
What breaks my heart is that I can't take anything seriously enough until it's too late.
This is my future at stake.
This is my future at stake.
This is my future at stake.
This is my future at stake.
This is my future at stake.
This is my future at stake.
This is my future at stake.
Yet, I feel so young. Too young to make these decisions. Too young to realise the urgency of the matter. Of everything I do or do not do.
I pretend to be all grown up, and I pretend good.
But I'm frightened of approaching days.
You see me as you see me.
Until you look into my young, afraid heart, that wants to remain a child forever.
xoxo
Bex
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Pride
Pride: Part and parcel of the fallability of man. It is hamartia, no two ways about it!Pride comes before a fall.
Pride is taking less than you need.
Pride is the bottom of all great mistakes.
Pride makes us artificial, and humility makes us real.
The truest characters of ignorance are vanity, pride and arrogance.
I'll be lying if I said I'm enjoying this, but my resilient pride will always come first. Regrettably. So I'll stubbornly cling onto it, and deceive myself into believe it'll be a worthwhile companion as next best alternative for now.
xoxo
Bex
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Dragonforce stepmania!
Ohmygoodness I wna DAI.I just played a stepmania song set to THROUGH THE FIRE AND THE FLAMES. Anyone who knows Dragonforce will be like WTF ARE YOU SERIOUS. Yeah i totally am! Like, it took the whole three stages to play that ONE song! It was wicked fast, and I can't believe I survived. I was in the danger zone at one point of time. Thank goodness I know the song, it really helped me anticipate what was next, and I was familiar with the rhythm so I could hit the slower notes (read: NON SHREDDING BITS) on time. God that was eyeballingly, tensingly, fingerly straining. I thank God I play piano, cause if not for trills, I would NEVER have hit those damn notes on time. I even did combos! FAINT SO AWESOME RIGHT!
Honeymoon period over. I can feel it. XD But it feels so much deeper and sweeter now, and we're so comfortable talking with each other. It's like we're settling down now. I've never felt anything like this, and I love it. SH agrees. XD Oh, he said it today, and it seemed cathartic for him. XD I'm so happy. I love you darling. <3
xoxo
Bex
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Jamie and Kai En are in the know!
Editted the relationship post, apparently I forgot the sec 1 guy. HOW COULD I!Today went to Kaki Bukit for the College Annual dance photoshoot. We spent like 1 hour doing make up and like 5 minutes taking pictures. WTH. After that, went home before going to meet SH on the pretext of going to church early. We went to eat at that place next to Kobayashii at Kovan, and the food there was delicious, srsly. You HAVE to try the sirloin steak. Their chicken chop spaghetti looks good though, I'm so going after that on my next visit. XD
Went to Novena to meet Jamie. We let Kai En and Jamie see. XD Kai En saw us holding hands and his expression was PRICELESS. XD Think STUNNED OUT OF MY HEAD face. HAHAHAHAHA. Jamie was super shocked. HAHA so fun! XD Then after the meeting, we pa tuo-ed behind the building. HAHA OMG SO SCANDALOUS RIGHT I KNOW. Then I went to grammy's house. Nice durian, mmmm. <3
Ran my 2km again today. No courage to double it. XD MAYBE NEXT WEEK! RAAAAAH. Course by then, it'll be too late. DX I wonder if I can clock 4km or not. HAHA AIYA JUST DO IT LUH. The point of that km thing is to keep fit right, and I've really run the distance after all. Heehee. Gna go off nao, TURRAH YA'LL!
PS: I really regret missing Fon's birthday party, but I had to. DX I would've given anything to be there. But at the end of the year, I'm SO celebrating with her, EXCLUSIVELY. I love you Fon, and I'm sorry I missed your 18th, but I'm always gna be there with you. Love you heaps. <3
xoxo
Bex
Friday, July 24, 2009
The Haunting In Connecticut
Awesome movie, full of scares though. Not for the faint of heart, nor for the Haniels of the world. XD LOTS OF GORE! Think freshly burned dude, weird morgue with creepy instruments, eyelid cutting and rune inscribing on corpses. EWWW. The theatre was full of screamies. XD We sat behind in the couple seats row, and like the whole row was taken up by couples. So cute. HAHAHA. Back to the movie. XD I was hiding behind darling's hands very muchly, especially towards the end. He left me alone for the toilet at the ectoplasm bit though. DX BOO. We went for Suki before, and thank goodness watching people puke onscreen doesn't turn my not-weak tummy. XD We also took pix of us truly towards the end of the day. I love being able to spend so much time with my darling, I hardly get to. I loves him! XD
I like a few lines from this movie.
"Don't tell anyone, but there are these buildings all over the country where secret knowledge is kept. Normally known as "libraries". HAHAHAHA.
"One bright day in the middle of the night, two dead boys got up to fight. Back to back they faced each other, drew their swords and shot each other. A deaf policeman heard the noise and came and killed those two dead boys."
It was only just that I noticed everything is more than just creepsville, it's a contradiction.
FREAK OUT!
PS: I miss my darling SO MUCH, and his kisses. <3 Harder and harder to part nowadays. DX We can't see each other for the whole of next week too. I need to study, and he's got drivers' orientation. But I remember it was only last Saturday that we pledged not to see each other for two weeks, so who knows? XD
xoxo
Bex
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Relationships
BEX'S RELATIONSHIPS 101
Hahahahahaha. Cuihua has inspired me yet again. Here's a pretty long post for all you people who haven't been satisfied by my short bits so far, those who've complained they can't keep track of my sweethearts, not to mention those who STILL complain that they haven't been updated since -insert random ex's name here-, and those additional people hungry for more! XD
Let's look at my relationships/crushes/ans cuh. Disclaimer: I was a romantic. XD MAYBE STILL AM. RAH.
PRIMARY SCHOOL (yeah this early)
P1: A bunch of guys. I asked one to marry me, got rejected. HAHA first proposal, first rejection!
P3: I used to turn behind and steal his things. It wore off after I peed in my seat though, too embarrased. XD
P4: He had a twin! But I liked him better cause he could turn his eyelids inside out. Bizarre, I know. I WAS YOUNG.
P5: A friend of a friend told me I was so lucky to sit beside the cutest guy in school. AND BOY DID I KNOW! He always disturbed me. XD I was euphoric for the most part of the year. But he was when I got to know of the breed "Alpha Male", though I didn't know to categorize it just yet.
P6: Pining over my Alpha Male cause I moved into a new class. Someone thought I was cute, got together out of a sense of obligation, broke up next year cause he said he was gay. XD
SECONDARY SCHOOL (though it was a girl's school, OH GOD)
Sec 1: She was the cutest boy I ever saw. Amongst others. I got a seven-years-older-than-me bf for about a month before the parentals found out due to high house phone bill bars (think 2 hours every night), plus they heard me talking. That was the first time I got my heart broken, and I didn't have a proper relationship after that for 3 years.
Sec 2: Until I met the cutest boy I ever saw. Wrote a note to her as we always did, and got slighted by silence. What was I thinking?
Sec 3: A guy, known through the P6 "ex", we semi got together, I never loved him. I reminded him later after he got drunk and behaved repellingly, and he got mad. Too bad, see you! Sometime down the road, "ex" from P6 texted me from overseas, "Do you still love me?" Right.
JUNIOR COLLEGE (in my "prime")
J1: From April to June-ish, or thereabouts. Scandalous. It was remarkable how we went without having to meet, maybe the webcam helped. We met once before we got together, and once after, that's it. The second time, we put our curiousities to rest. I really loved him, cried in class and at night frequently, especially after the promise to talk went with the coming of the hole in my tongue to spite him. Still remember how Chewy asking about my single eyelids, meaningfully hinting.
Somewhere around the middle of the year, the same guy from P6, also cameo-ed in Sec 3 asked my to be his gf. Rejected once again, hopefully for the last time. DX
End of J1, going on to J2: We met on maple, how juvenile. So was our romance, thriving on the honeymoon period, desperately trying to hold the shreds together in the end with rings, keychains and the like. I thought this was special, and this is one relationship in which a particular thing was never done before, and can never be repeated. However, I was naive. Despite all that we've done, and him not wanting to be another ex, he eventually did. The reason why we parted was new though, the whole situation was. I had never been two-timed before. Blamed myself for a long time, before I finally stopped clinging on, swore never to fall so deep again.
J2!: After him, I poured my heart out to a willing listener. There was chemistry, even as he had a girlfriend. She broke up with him, and I stepped in. We were good, I was guarded. Wasted the honeymoon period, opening up only in the later months, finally daring to trust love again. Mistake, I was two-timed again, this time with God. I forgave him, and moved on.
Later part of J2!: It started with a wrong number missed call, and then successively came the happiest delirium-filled weeks (and still on going) I've ever had since a while ago. God I feel like a giggly school girl. XDDDDD There's the trust issue, but things won't get serious for a while, so I'll enjoy this while it lasts. XD I'm lucky to have him, he's immune to my violatility cause he's so easy-going. XD Just what I need!
I love you SH! <3
PS Just came back from independent training, ran to the end of my estate and looped back: 2km in less than 10 minutes! Happy. XD I guess I'll double it next time to train my stamina.
xoxo
Bex
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Brat.
Raaaah, self discovery:I'm really a mean, selfish, unfair high-maintanence brat on the not-so-inside.
Hahahahahahahaha.
xoxo
Bex
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Timothy See
Some people who are rich spoilt brats used to getting what they want should really control their temper. Cause no matter how much backup they have, they're still gna end up on the losing end one day.Christina Tan's a great lecturer! And I need to start studying moreeeeeeeee! So today I met SH. Omg okay listen.
HE PASSED HIS DRIVING
TEST ON FIRST ATTEMPT!!!
YEY I'm sooooo happy for him. XD I loves him muchly! <3
xoxo
Bex
Monday, July 20, 2009
Yoges
God I love stupid people. Makes it so much more fun to tear down their dumb arguments and know they're quivering beneath your mental stripping of their dignity. XDGOD. ***** is a classic loser, in every sense of the word, and Haniel and I had such fun proving ourselves intellectually superior over that fugly shit. HAHAHAHAHAHA.
xoxo
Bex
Should be sleeping.
I KNOW I SHOULD BE SLEEPING. RAH. Something got me worked up quite a while ago. But I'm gna sleep soon!I'm happy. XD I love my darling Hanhan, and I have a feeling we'll last. <3
xoxo
Bex
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Caffeine and Panadol
JC2The year when caffeine and panadol are your best friends.
xoxo
Bex
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
SH <3
Today, school was pretty uneventful. Now you know that other interesting things happened otherwise I wouldn't dismiss it just like that. XD There was a bad Miss-Lai joke about me though. Ask Kim if you wna hear it; it's hers, and she'd be delighted. HAHA.After school, I went to Kovan to meet SH. We went to gaigai and ended up at the fitness corner. After, we migrated to a void deck, then to Hougang Plaza. Like WTF I had NO IDEA how we got there. Went back to Kovan after a bit, and shared a Yoshi bowl before heading home. Hahahaha we messed around in the lift at the MRT, SO FUNNY. Went up, then down, then up again for kicks. HAHAHAHA we're such kids. XD I had a good time today, we got closer than before. I won't ever wna lose him. My darling makes me happy beyond words. <3
xoxo
Bex
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Handy Panky. XD
After school today, Xing and I went hamster stuff shopping! HAHA we love our hamsters! We should form like a club, I know Cui'll be innit. XD Then we studied at Macs for a while, before Xing asked me to go to her house! I introduced the little pizzas from 7-11 to her, and after one bite she loved it. DUH. XDWhen we reached her house, I parked myself in front of her HUGE TWO STOREY COMPLEX HAMSTER CAGE and obsessively stared at her hamsters while she took a shower, then we put them in a brown bag and went off to a Paya Lebar Vet. At least Xing did, I went to Kovan, where darling was already waiting. HAHAHA. For half an hour, the wait went on, apparently. This is RETRIBUTION for making me wait one hour for you on our one week anni! HMPH! XD
I had a great time with darling after that. Wish we had more free time to spend with each other like this, it's just really nice. XD
I love the honeymoon period. XD
xoxo
Bex
Monday, July 13, 2009
First kiss.
WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. XDFirst. XD
xoxo
Bex
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Auto!
I met SH on thursday and again today. Hahaha this is getting excessive!Anyways, I was playing stepmania, and suddenly it was like my brain went on auto, and like my fingers and eyes were like robots! Like I saw the arrows coming really quickly and I couldn't comprehend what was going on, and my fingers were pressing anyways! And they NAILED IT.
It's like my brain and my fingers were completely detached cause according to Brain, that was a shit load of arrows and it suddenly couldn't understand. Then Fingers and Eyes were like, okay we're abandoned by Brain, it's up to us. It's scary man. You know you're playing too much when it becomes reflex. O.o
xoxo
Bex
Haniel goes to Malaysia!
I can't believe my best friend sprung the fact that he was going on a Malaysia trip on me at 7am in the morning today. How does that make me feel!!!xoxo
Bex
Friday, July 10, 2009
PERV ALERT
I'm so fucking pissed off. But aside from that.PERV ALERT.
I dno why, I have the folly of inviting all the pervy people on msn to my account. Like wth, am I some kinda weirdo magnet? Retarded people like me, and now apparently so do pervs. There's a trend. First, a pimp in Sec 1. Then a weirdo somebody2000 earlier this year (I think) and finally this new guy:
jasontanlw@yahoo.com.sg
I mean, this guy has a fairly normal msn, yahoo.com.sg yet! So much less suspicious than somebody2000. But I knew of him before I got a request, cause Kim told me about him. Apparently he struck her. HAHAHA. And she saw a gross dp and blocked, deleted him. Well, he talked to me, then turned on his webcam and IT WAS GROSS. I don't have to say what.
GOODNESS GRACIOUS ME.
xoxo
Bex
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
I really don't like school!
I DO NOT LIKE SCHOOL.So siaaaan. But actually if I go there and stuff, it doesn't seem THAT bad. Maybe I should rephrase that.
I DO NOT LIKE 'A' LEVEL
INDUCED STRESS.
Much better.
I have a new game. XD It's called StepMania, courtesy of Isaac. It's the total replica of DDR, cept it's on the comp. Hahaha I WISH I HAD A DDR MAT LIKE JIAWEN AND KAILING. Oh great. PERFECT TIME TO GET INTO A NEW GAME HMM?
xoxo
Bex
Monday, July 6, 2009
Suki for the second time!
SUKI CINE. Sounds like a Malay word no? XDAnyways, Haniel and I went to eat there today, and we ate our full man! No more jap food craving for both of us for a while! But I couldn't drink cold. DX In the end, I went to buy a coke, but that's a different story, I totally had an excuse!
We went to the arcade nearby after our lunch to dance it off in DDR! I failed desperately at the drum game cause I'm too short. O.o I was pretty good for the regular rounds, like I was walking COOLY all over the place. HAHAHA. Then the ultimate came when I accidentally selected the two mats for one player. But I was stubborn even til the end! Wanted to do it myself, and ended up hopping around! Apparently it's good for flouncy people like me. HAHAHA. I kinda fell off the machine twice okay. EEEEEEEEEEEEEE. But now I totally love DDR!!!
School tomorrow. RARH. Kill me NAO.
xoxo
Bex
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Bex Is Becoming A Foodie. DX
Bex is becoming a foodie! JUST LIKE XING. RAAAAAAAH THIS IS BAD.I want to eat kaya bread! And LOTS OF JAP FOOD.
I'm totally conquering marutama and ichiban boshi. RAAAAH.
RAMENGYOZACHASOBACHAWANMUSHIMISO
KAKIAGESASHIMISUSHI HERE I COME!!!
xoxo
Bex
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Proper English
RAAAAAH. I don't like it how some people spoil your impression of them by like acting all ang moh then suddenly their sentence is punctuated with a really bad Singlish accent in some words, and grammar errors. Like, it's really bad neh. If you wna act ang moh, do it all the way please. Don't make all unnatural cause it shows.I just don't like how proper english has been marred by our "native" accent. Suresure, it's unique, but IT SOUNDS AWFUL. And if you're trying to act all englishy and stuff, I feel embarrassed for you. Just stop dude, don't. Hahahahaha. And like, for example, go dial the Mac delivery hotline. Sometimes I can't even understand the person. Their pronunciation is almost unintelligible! AND THE GRAMMAR, IT'S TERRIBLE.
I know how I'm not exactly the epitome of speaking proper english, if you hear me and my everyday "lingo". HAHAHA. But I can do it well, and I don't act like I THINK I can speak really awesome english and go make a fool of myself!
xoxo
Bex
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
H1N1 scare
Raaaagh. Talk about a H1N1 scare man. Cough, sore throat, then flu, then fever in the span of three days. Frightening! But my fever seems to have broken. Seems like I got sick cause I'm tired, quite a common occurence in JC, but what with the H1N1 paranoia nowadays, yuh... Nevertheless! "Social responsiblity" is keeping me from school tomorrow. XD Aren't ya'll SO PROUD? But I'm not going to the docs, dad's just writing a letter and told me to tell TTH to find him if he has any problems with it. XDI hope I can perform for college day though. RAAAAH. Getting off the comp, tis straining for some reason.
xoxo
Bex